Maybe I need one of those UV lamps or something?

A few updates:

• Our vacation was FANTASTIC. Everyone needed a little time in the sun and the heat. 
• It's SNOWING here at home. It's COLD. I HATE WINTER. BLEH. :/

Ok, no more whining. I promise. :) Now, back to my list:

¡Vámonos a México!

That's right, I still remember [most of] the Spanish I learned back in junior high and high school. It helps that my husband is of Cuban and Spanish descent, and whenever we see his family in Miami, we hear a lot of it. Granted, we haven't been down to Miami in two years now--not since our wedding. This is mostly due to my becoming pregnant the following summer and now taking care of Smash for the past 8½ months. We're actually coming down to visit at the end of January for a couple of days before we go on a cruise (Planned Vacation #2 with Smash!).

Let's talk about Planned Vacation #1. You guessed it, this will be Smash's very first vacation, as well as his first flight. Like the title of the post suggests, we are heading to Mexico--an all-inclusive resort in Riviera Maya. My parents are going with us, too. My mom and I planned the whole thing back in September when we decided we both need a tropical getaway, for very different reasons. My mom needs some time away from her hectic new job that keeps her working at all hours of the day and night and forces her to be glued to her Blackberry. I need a change of scenery and some relaxing time on the beach, as a treat after so many months of thinking only of Smash's needs and well-being. My dad and husband could use some well-deserved time off from their jobs, too, and everyone has a chance to spend some quality time with Smash. This vacation couldn't have come at a better time, either. Going over Thanksgiving means having to take less time off for everyone. Also, now that it's actually starting to get cold in earnest, the warm weather is more attractive than ever. Our flight leaves on Thursday morning, and the projected high in Chicago is supposed to be around 30, but I'm looking forward to being welcomed by 85° sunshine at Cancun Airport!

Now...if only I could stop reading The Hunger Games (aka procrastinating) long enough to start packing. :-)

Diehard fandom

I will come right out and say it: I am an extremely devoted Harry Potter fan.

I feel the need to talk about this right now for a couple of reasons:

1. It just hit me that I'm going to see Deathly Hallows Part I this Friday night. That's only 3 days away! I've been dreaming about this day for almost 10 years. It's unreal that it's finally happening.
2. Because of the revelation in #1, I've been thinking about how hugely popular this phenomenon is and how lucky I am to have lived alongside it and enjoyed it while it happened. My kids and my kids' kids will be reading Harry Potter because it has indisputably become a classic piece of literature.
3. Once Part II is released in theaters next summer, it will all be over. The living, breathing phenomenon will be done, finished, in the past. This is incomprehensible to me, since Harry Potter has been a part of my life for the past decade.

How many literary series can you think of have had even close to what Harry Potter has? Zero.
Just how pervasive has Harry Potter become in our society, and the world? Let's take a look.

Why do I even bother?

Something has really been nagging at the back of my mind over the past couple of days. It's really troubling when I bring it to the forefront, and makes me feel completely hopeless and deflated.

Exhaustion

A lot of times, I feel like I'm setting myself up to fail. There just aren't enough hours in a day to please everyone in my life. My baby needs me 24/7 to be the center of his universe. My husband needs my affection, organizational skills, and ability to keep everything we've got to do in my head. My friends need my presence, company, and humor, and expect me to always find time for them while carefully planning around Smash's naps, feedings, bedtime, etc. My parents need to see their grandson and to insist that I'm not feeding him enough. My mother-in-law needs regular updates on what's going on as well as monthly photo collections of Smash (she lives out of state). My play group moms need my presence and willingness to contribute food, conversation, ideas, etc., to our play groups. All eight of my students need me to be on full alert and give them full, individualized attention during our reading lessons. On top of all that, I need to eat, sleep, bathe, check my email and facebook, go grocery shopping, keep the house clean, take out the garbage, keep up on laundry and dishes, pump enough breast milk for the week to give to Smash while I'm out tutoring, and make sure the cat has food, water, and a clean litterbox.

Are you out of breath after reading all that? I am. I'm going dizzy just thinking about it.

The worst part is that I feel this immense pressure to be able to carry on like this, day after day, week after week, month after month. I feel that it's what I have to do, otherwise my family and home will fall apart. To some, it might be empowering to know that they are the glue that holds their families together, but to me it's just stressful and I can't imagine how I can go on another day. Trying to get my husband to understand all this is a chore in itself. Sometimes, like now for instance, I feel like I'm just unraveling like cheap thread. Is that wrong of me? Surely we can't all be expected to be SuperMom 100% of the time?

It's 7:30 on a Saturday night, and all I want to do is crash out. But I can't until I pump first. Ugh.

P.S. Today is the birthday of one of my close friends, and once I post this entry it'll be my first chance today to call her and wish her a happy one. Honestly. That's how crazy my day has been! I'll have to drop my present off at her place tomorrow. I just can't do anything else tonight.

Minor letdowns

Just as the title describes, today has been full of minor letdowns. It's definitely list time!

1. I spent the morning looking forward to meeting up for lunch with my husband. At 11:30, after calling him twice with no luck already, I finally got a hold of him and he told me that he was sorry, but was going out to lunch with his boss instead. Lonely lunch on my own = Letdown.
2. All day I've been looking forward to trying out an afternoon tea gathering at New Mother New Baby, a store in Northbrook. I thought it would be nice for Smash to have another day in the week to interact with other babies, and for me to interact with more local moms. Unfortunately, he finally fell asleep about 20 minutes ago, and he won't be up in time for us to make it today. Not happening = Letdown.
3. Part of the reason he went down for his nap so late is that he's teething and refused to nurse when it was time for him to eat, so we lost a good 45 minutes with me trying to distract him from his discomfort and getting him to finally nurse. He eventually did, but not as much as I'd have liked. It must really bother his poor gums to nurse right now. Not being able to do anything for him = Letdown.
4. I noticed today that our cat has been gnawing on the side of the couch and there is now a gaping hole through the vinyl, and some foam stuffing is sticking out of it. Unsightly couch hole = Letdown.
5. Finally, there is a moldy smell in our master bathroom, and I was hoping that cleaning up the pink/orange mildewy stuff on the edges of the shower floor would solve the problem. Well, one clean shower floor later, the smell is still there. Great. We probably have mold growing somewhere in there. Joe thinks it's under the floor tiles, since they creak now and they didn't a few months ago when we first moved in. For our safety as well as Smash's, we need to address this ASAP, even though we really don't have the money to fix it right now. This is actually a major letdown. This morning I called a few local mold inspectors after doing some research online, and their prices are awful. I guess this is the going rate and we're just going to have to bite the bullet. Ah, the joys of being a homeowner. :/

At least we get to shift gears tonight. We're going out with some friends to see Due Date and then heading over to RAM for some drinks and late-night grub. (My mom will be watching Smash.) It'll be a welcome break from all our 'adult-life' worries. Hopefully tonight won't be as much of a letdown as today was!

Play Group

Today I played gracious hostess and willingly invited my first-time moms group from the JCC over to have a play group. We've been meeting up for play groups outside the JCC since the beginning of October, and now it was my turn to host. I didn't mind having everyone over; it was just stressful to get my house clean and set everything up for several people and their babies. The play group itself was a big success! Everyone from the group showed up, including my friend O and her son, who aren't in our moms group, but I invited her anyway because she needs to get out of the house more. I'm sure she would come to the JCC if she didn't have to work every Wednesday. I was glad to see that she was finally letting her son down on the floor to play and explore. The boy is almost 7 months old, and until recently, she's been super-protective of him and would always hold him in her arms. Granted, that's her right as his mother, but my child-rearing philosophy just happens to be very different from hers. I was letting Smash explore his surroundings on his own at about 4 months, right around when he started holding his upper body and scooting around on his tummy. I attribute that early independence and self-reliance to his ability to sit unassisted at 5 months and to crawl and pull himself to standing in his crib at 6 months. Now he's almost 8 months and ready to walk. He pulls himself up on everything he can and holds on with only one hand without much wobbling. When I hold his hands, he tries to take steps. I swear, he's almost there! I will be ecstatic if I have an early walker; it'll make daily life so much easier. Imagine not having to carry dead weight in a carseat all over the place all the time!

Shifting gears.

Once Smash goes down for the night, I will lay in bed and get started on The Vampire Diaries: The Return - Nightfall. It's not the greatest series in the world--or the best written--but I've recently read the original four books from 1991, and found out that Smith had decided to write three sequels to the original series, starting with this one, which was published last year. I'm curious to see where the story goes now.

Once I'm done with this book and the next one (the third in this sequel trilogy won't be out until next year) I'll finish up the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series (I'm currently on The Titan's Curse, the third in the series). I believe there are five total? They're pretty entertaining, and if you have a 10-year-old in search of a good adventure story with well-developed characters and a healthy dose of Greek mythology, then these books are for you. Once I'm done with those, I will be checking out The Hunger Games. I've heard a lot about this series recently, and want to see what all the hype is about.

I am such a bookworm!

EDIT: I thought I should share that my cousin and his wife welcomed their first baby into the world this afternoon, a daughter! I can't wait to meet my new niece and Smash's new cousin! SO exciting.

Introductions

This is my first blog ever, so bear with me. I am a recent first-time homeowner, new mother to a beautiful 8-month-old boy, and, for the time being, a housewife. This blog will mainly be about my adventures as I navigate through all the recent changes in my life, as well as things I've learned along the way! I also love to post pics.

I'm not afraid to say exactly what I'm thinking and feeling, so prepare for some Ann Taintor-esque commentary. I am definitely not your typical suburban housewife. So, let's begin, shall we?